NYT : Leno, O’Brien Laugh Lines

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Jay Leno : The population of the United States reached 300 million yesterday. In a related story the population of Mexico is now at 38 people.

Jay Leno : There was an earthquake in Hawaii today. President Bush said that the government would do everything to help the people of Hawaii out. He went on to say that he considers Hawaii to be one of our most important allies.  FEMA was on site immediately. Actually they had just showed up for the bombing of Pearl Harbor.

Conan O’Brien : The Walt Disney Company announced that they will begin serving more nutritionally balanced meals at their domestic theme parks. The people at Disney made the decision after they noticed the people in line for the Dumbo ride were bigger than Dumbo.

Conan O’Brien : The Iranian government announced this week that they are slowing down Internet access speed because they don’t want Iranians to have good Internet service. Apparently, the government is so serious about this they’re making all Iranians subscribe to AOL.

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